Main Idea

Substance use often leaves behind a trail of broken trust, hurt feelings, and damaged relationships. Recovery isn’t just about feeling better—it’s about doing better. Repairing harm where possible helps you rebuild a life of honesty, trust, and self-respect without needing forgiveness from a higher power.

1. Make a List of Who You've Harmed

Write down the names of people you’ve hurt through your substance use or related behaviors. Be honest, even if it’s uncomfortable.

2. Prioritize Safe Amends

Focus on people you can safely approach without causing more harm to yourself or others. Safety and respect come first.

3. Plan What You’ll Say

Keep it simple and sincere. Acknowledge the harm you caused, express genuine regret, and avoid making excuses or expecting forgiveness.

4. Make Amends Where Possible

Reach out, apologize, and—if appropriate—ask how you can repair the relationship. Some people may not respond, and that’s okay. The effort matters.

5. Accept the Outcome

You can control your actions, not others' reactions. Some relationships will heal, some may not. Focus on doing the next right thing, not controlling results.